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Thursday, May 30, 2024

Baldur’s Gate 3 patch fixes indecent publicity bug

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I adore it when video games provide the means to decide on your genitals. Not due to the obviously apparent attractive causes however as a result of, when video games provide the means to customise The Items, it virtually all the time results in patch notes just like the one we obtained in the latest Baldur’s Gate 3 hotfix.

Warning, this shall be barely Not Protected For Work

By Larian Studios’ rely, the hotfix addresses over 300 bugs and points, together with one it put proper on the prime of the “Gameplay” part, letting you realize this specific challenge was on the tip prime of builders’ minds. The hotfix reads:

“Penises C and D not clip by some githyanki clothes.”

Effectively, thank Tyr! I imply, actually, how am I presupposed to get something completed round Faerûn if penises C and D hold clipping by my bespoke githyanki attire. Oh, you haven’t seen bespoke githyanki attire? Right here’s some, courtesy of Lae’zel.

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That is what Lae’zel wears underneath her armor day by day. I can’t think about the chafing happening right here.
Picture: Larian Studios

Penises in video video games are nice as a result of they’re all the time clipping by one thing. A few years in the past, Cyberpunk 2077 hadn’t gotten good yet, however everybody was nonetheless speaking about it as a result of it was primarily “Dick’s Out: The Game.” Conan Exiles grew to become notorious for its genital choices as a result of not solely did the sport allow you to select the dimensions of your breasts or penis nevertheless it additionally utilized its physics engine to your genitals, so every time your character mannequin flopped round with its ragdoll physics, guess what else was flopping around?

The patch, which additionally offers gnomes the power to put on underwear once more, needs to be accessible now, so remember to activate recreation updates.

Humorous as this all is, although, I do even have one critical factor to say about genital choices in Baldur’s Gate 3: they don’t go far sufficient. With penises, there’s solely circumcised or uncircumcised, with pubic hair or with out, whereas the one vulva choices are grass or naked pavement, in case you catch my that means.

I perceive that, with the sheer dimension and variability of Baldur’s Gate 3, the builders needed to pare down the sport’s choices someplace. However simply as you may customise nearly everything, proper right down to the colour highlights in your Tiefling’s horns, you must have the ability to customise your junk. I don’t need to go full Conan Exiles with sliders and the like. Nevertheless it’d be good, affirming even, if BG3 genitals had extra choices, like a vulva with an enlarged clitoris, or a vulva with a puffy labia, small penises, giant penises, or perhaps a scrotum-only possibility. Moreover, this can be a fantasy recreation! Why are my choices so boringly human? The place are the barbs? The place are the tooth?

Baldur’s Gate 3’s character creator is a improbable step in the correct route for creating a really inclusive, numerous character creator. The easy incontrovertible fact that these genital choices are usually not locked to a gender is price celebrating. I simply hope that, sooner or later, if some developer desires to provide us The Items, they think about giving us some magic weapons as an alternative of fundamental tools.

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