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Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Greg Gutfeld: I can not stop Chris Cuomo

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NEWNow you can hearken to Fox Information articles!

So – all is just not nicely at CNN. Sure, there may be extra friction within the faux information manufacturing facility than there may be between Stelter’s thighs whereas sporting his favourite pair of lululemons.

I converse of the community residence of hysterics, corridor screens, and one anchor who would make an ideal — nicely, anchor. As you already know, Chris Cuomo is in additional sizzling water than a package deal of Ramen noodles. He simply received suspended, indefinitely.

MSNBC AVOIDS BREAKING NEWS OF CHRIS CUOMO’S SUSPENSION, REFRAINS FROM CRITICIZING RIVAL CNN ANCHOR

In response to the New York lawyer normal’s workplace, Chris was much more concerned in his brother’s harm management efforts than beforehand admitted. I do know — a CNN anchor shading the reality? Whoever heard of that?

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Donald Trump, October 2020: CNN received very indignant. Faux information. CNN is completely faux

As you already know, Andrew Cuomo, the ex-governor, was accused of sexual harassment a number of occasions. The man touched extra ladies than Pete Davidson at a wrap social gathering. Chris admitted to serving to his brother out in preventing the accusations – and who would not assist his brother, actually?

However new paperwork reveal he was in common contact along with his bro’s former high aide, and as accusations piled up, Chris demanded figuring out when damaging articles would come out — promising he’d use his media connections to assist his sleazy sibling.

So that is turning into the most effective Lifetime film I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen all of them. Together with “The 12 Males of Christmas.” Now beforehand, Chris stated he by no means made calls to the press about his brother – and why should not we consider him? He is been so trustworthy earlier than!

Chris Cuomo, April 2020: All proper, right here it’s. The official reentry from the basement. Cleared by CDC. Little sweaty, simply labored out-happens. That is what I’ve been dreaming of

ANDERSON COOPER AWKWARDLY ADDRESSES CHRIS CUOMO SUSPENSION TO CNN VIEWERS, FILLS IN FOR EMBATTLED ANCHOR

Man, to drag that off, you want a blind spot the dimensions of Wendy Williams’ toes. 

However it looks like Chris was certainly gathering intel, together with grime on one accuser. You realize – Hillary can be so happy with Chris. Now after listening to all this, I’d surprise — how does Chris preserve his job? However then I keep in mind this man (Jeffrey Toobin). True, that was unintentional, and everybody deserves forgiveness for trustworthy errors. 

“However Greg, even when that includes burping the worm throughout a community Zoom name?” Properly, I travel on this — very similar to Toobin. However my level is that this: it is pure for community rivals to benefit from the spectacle of a rival’s implosion. It is like once they demolish an {old} lodge in Vegas—you’re keen on to look at it. And Cuomo kinda deserves it.

He is a blowhard who lauded Antifa and smeared first rate people as bigots. He churns out faux information just like the Amish do butter – telling you to dwell by the foundations that he then fortunately pisses on like a urinal cake. He screamed at you to obey lockdowns, as he violated his personal. Severely – what an inventory of obnoxiousness to select from. It is just like the polyester shirt part at Walmart.

ABC PRODUCER WHO ACCUSED CHRIS CUOMO OF HARASSMENT CALLS CNN SUSPENSION ‘MEANINGLESS’, PREDICTS HE’LL BE BACK

There’s q-tip theatre, the place Chris stole one in every of Carrot Prime’s props to humanize his jerkface brother.

Chris Cuomo, Could 2020: in scale, this was the precise swab that was used to suit up that double-barrel shotgun that you’ve got mounted in your fairly face

I suppose he was simply making an attempt to maintain his brother’s nostril clear.

There’s the second the place he mocked the crime wave and people who had been elevating alarms about it.

Don Lemon July 7, 2020: They usually’re gonna take your nation away they usually’re taking down the statues.

Chris Cuomo: Crime is rising as they defund police

Lemon: My gosh, it is so unhealthy!

By the best way, it is good to see Chris lastly focus on the brand new “smash and seize” robberies. “Smash and seize” – it seems like one in every of his brother’s high courting strategies. However I suppose Chris may not chalk that violence as much as “present me within the structure the place it says looting needs to be peaceable.”

WATCH THE MOMENT MSNBC ANCHOR REPEATED ANDREW CUOMO ADVISER’S ‘SPIN’ ON HARASSMENT ALLEGATIONS

He additionally defended Antifa.

Chris Cuomo, August 2018: Antifa or whomever … Or malcontent or misguided, they’re additionally mistaken to hit, however preventing hate is correct, and in a conflict between hate and people who oppose it, those that oppose it are on the facet of proper.

He was, in brief, an overpaid jackass. However within the media, that describes all of us. Besides Kilmeade – he is only a jackass.

However I really feel, at occasions, that I’m an overpaid jackass too. However then I keep in mind, I work at Fox, and conclude I’m an underpaid jackass. Severely Fox, how will you anticipate me to keep up a Bolivian cocaine behavior, 6 mistresses, 3 full-time cabana boys in St. Bart’s on 14 mil a yr? It is like they do not even think about the truth that my shoe inserts are manufactured from ivory. Final week I needed to let a houseboy go as a result of his nonstop crying upset my Bengal tigers.

So, what am I getting at? The scuttlebutt on this highschool cafeteria, known as the media, is that Chris is what you discover subsequent to your ham and eggs at IHOP: toast. It is both toast, or a Lee press-on nail. However he is just like the Greeks – historical historical past. He is like peaches on the grocery store – canned. He is like a loaded gun on an Alec Baldwin set – discharged.

However why ought to he be fired? What did he do mistaken? In addition to assist a corrupt politician smear an accuser by utilizing his community connections.

That is it? Come on! Who hasn’t carried out that earlier than, proper? I say, it is time to not hearth Chris, however to save him!

Mock marketing campaign advert to “Save Chris Cuomo”

The actual fact is, for lack of a greater time period, I can’t stop Chris. And look – the media is a moronic medium – so is it his fault if he is a moron? We entice them like flies on poop. And it is this setting that usually dictates adjustments in your habits. 

‘THE VIEW’S’ SUNNY HOSTIN INTERRUPTS COLLECTIVE DUNKING ON CHRIS CUOMO TO ARGUE HE DID NOTHING ‘ILLEGAL’

I imply take a look at Kat. She wasn’t this bat-s*** loopy once I met her. The information did this to her. This was her earlier than Fox (image of Dana Perino).

And you’ve got seen it your self. “So and so” leaves Fox for someplace else, and out of the blue they’re completely different. So, the {old} line is, “do not hate the participant, hate the sport.” I got here up with that as a child whereas enjoying spin the bottle with my grandmother’s schnauzer… (bitch).

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However the recreation lately is to inflame, divide and incite. Till we modify that recreation, there’ll all the time be extra Chris Cuomos than Greg Gutfelds. 

Firing them does no good, as a result of one other one bubbles up. If we preserve at it, who is aware of who might be internet hosting that CNN 9 pm slot.

This text is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the November 30, 2021 version of “Gutfeld!”



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