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Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Greg Gutfeld: Nobody is in cost, and nobody cares

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Completely happy Friday my fellow funky Friday people. What a loopy week. It’s like considered one of Hemmer’s scorching tub events. Dangerous issues are taking place, but it surely’s okay as a result of we’re all on this collectively.

First, last night’s town hall. What did we get from Joe? An incoherent jumble of recollections, confused seems to be, however the very best impersonation of Beavis and Butthead’s Cornholio in historical past. What the hell was that? There was extra

Joe Biden, Oct 21: forty p.c of all merchandise coming into the US of America on the west coast undergo Los Angeles and, and I, what am I doing right here? 

Anderson Cooper: is it Lengthy Seashore?

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Biden: Lengthy Seashore. Thanks


Anderson Cooper: Do you have got plans to go to the southern border?

Joe Biden: I’ve been there earlier than and I have never. I imply, I do know it effectively. I suppose I ought to go down.


Joe Biden: So what you see is wages are literally up


Joe Biden: I’ve the liberty to kill you


Joe Biden: My guess is you will begin to see gasoline costs come down as we get by going into the winter. I imply, excuse me, within the subsequent 12 months, 2022.


Joe Biden: I need to let you know, I haven’t got a near-term reply.


Anderson Cooper: Mr. President. Mr. President.

President Joe Biden: By the best way, there’s two well-known guys on this viewers right here.

Perhaps they had been Beavis and Butthead. Effectively, that’s the alternative of comforting. It appears his solely technique is to deflect from our present distress to promising extra distress. Effectively, that and pretend tales about trains.

Joe Biden: Quite a lot of the parents at Amtrak turned my household, not a joke. // Angelo Negre was from, do you keep in mind Ang? Ang got here as much as me someday once I was, after they simply had introduced that I had flown a million, some x variety of miles on air pressure plane and Ang comes up and I’m getting within the automobile and he goes, joey, child, what do you. And I believed the key service goes to shoot him. I mentioned, no, no, no, he is good. He is good. True story. 

Rambling about trains from a human prepare wreck. Sorry – the one Biden who is aware of about rails is Hunter after he’s snorted just a few recent ones.


In order America worries – Joe tells a debunked story a couple of {dead} Amtrak employee. This man’s reminiscence is so dangerous he’s plagiarizing his personal lies. As for the availability chain fiasco, we did that story final week. However just like the president’s reminiscence, it is solely gotten worse 

Empty cabinets. Escalating costs. Panic. Kat cannot even purchase hair. Nonetheless nothing modified. Why? As a result of it would not have an effect on the politicians, the wealthy, the activist class. The very a**holes who’re answerable for this mess. However it impacts you measly nation bumpkins and also you don’t charge.

I imply – when’s the final time you wore a designer costume to a gala occasion? For me, it was Thursday. However I digress. 

Positive, they dragged Buttigieg out of his fort made from marshmallows and kittens to make a press release, however he provided nothing however, “sorry you are caught with it.” He is intelligent, however no chief. He is Eddie Haskell from “Depart it to Beaver,” besides he would not just like the beav.


Now I received nothing in opposition to paternity depart. Sorry: it is mayor Pete that gave paternity depart a foul title. Taking off just a few months? It’s not like he’s Octomom. He didn’t have 8 children by C-section. Getting a soft federal perk-filled place, then bailing for 2 months because the nation languishes. Who do you suppose you might be? Kamala Harris?

Hell, even I didn’t bail in my first 12 months in school and that was after realizing it was a Vacation Inn Specific.

The actual fact is, nobody is in cost. And nobody cares. 

Biden is an enormous rickety Malicious program being dragged into your front room by Jen Psaki, Susan Rice, and Ron Klain however there are not any warriors inside simply mud. To place us within the Halloween mode, this presidency is the headless horseman. It’s not a fancy dress, it is actual. And the cobwebs for the decorations come from inside Biden’s head. 

You realize how one can inform nobody’s in cost? The place are these notorious government orders that Biden unleashed when received in? Keep in mind how that was meant to point out he was in cost, when actually it was all symbolic bull****. 

Take the border disaster. All he needed to do was reverse Trump-era coverage, let the brand new coverage fail, then slyly revert again to Trump’s and act like he saved us from the catastrophe he needlessly put us in.


Now – with this large disaster, nothing. He may do one thing. However he gained’t. Talking of Trump, he would have nuked the availability chain disaster prefer it was a hurricane. The identical method he solved North Korea. The Center East with the Abraham accords. And naturally the vaccines. 

He would’ve focused the problems and blown them up like they had been Solemani on the best way to the airport.

With the availability chain. He would’ve created warp velocity in a trucker hat. Simply along with his Hell’s Angels connections alone, the cabinets would already be teeming with Christmas toys. 

Oh wait, that’s proper…his tweets had been generally abrasive. So let’s exchange him with a cross between Gilligan and Thurston Howell III. The outcome: Biden regret. With nobody claiming duty for fixing this downside. Not Pete, not Joe, not even Kamala. She’s too busy avoiding the immigration disaster. Even migrants don’t run from the border like she does. 


In the meantime, we came upon that this clown present Merrick Garland had breezily focused home terrorists – i.e. Dad and mom -based on a fact-free letter from a left-wing group that had colluded with the federal government beforehand. So it was all manufactured. This man’s dirtier than Dana Perino’s mouth after 2 pictures of Fireball.

He additionally says he will get most of his data from the information. I suppose that means CNN. Which explains his empty head. He did not know concerning the assault on the Division of the Inside or the rape in Loudoun County. As a result of CNN solely reviews information that protects a coddled viewers with room-temperature IQs.

The politicians quote the media, and the media quotes the politicians. Spherical and spherical, they go. I will not use the crude expression for that sort of circle – I don’t need Jeffrey Toobin to get excited. 

So like Joe and Mayor Pete, Merrick’s one other headless horseman. No concepts, no nothing. Simply strutting his stuff and forsaking piles of horse crap for the peasants to shovel up. However now he kicked a hornet’s nest along with his naked ft.

You suppose Black Lives Matter or the Tea Occasion was a motion? Strive tens of millions of scorned mother and father, from all financial teams, with extra racial range than a 1980’s Benetton advert. Garland kicked the mama bear, and the bear has the temperament of a constipated Bernie Sanders.


Now mother and father could also be deprived as activists – they’re new at it, and likewise they’re too busy to occupy a park, block a freeway. Or poop on a sidewalk. They’ve jobs- actual ones. However in addition they have children. Who I hate. However I get it.

You get between mother and father and their kids, you begin a battle that’ll be over faster than a typical Joe Biden workday. The headless horseman needs to be scared. He claimed he was gonna unify a rustic. And he did. In opposition to him.

This text is customized from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the October 22, 2021 version of “Gutfeld!”

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