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Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Greg Gutfeld: The more severe you’re feeling about America, the higher CNN does

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First… Some unhappy information to report. Chris Cuomo is {dead}… Lifting a variety of weight, now that he is unemployed. Yep, this dumbbell is taking his aggression out on the barbells.

Now, in all seriousness, our present misplaced an necessary ally this weekend — somebody who’s been a helluva supporter, and deeply concerned within the success of this program since day one. You possibly can say he was our shining mild, our lodestar, our muse. Second banana in his circle of relatives, however #1 in our hearts. 

CHRIS CUOMO SAGA: CNN’S DON LEMON IGNORES FIRING OF DISGRACED BESTIE

In a blow that has left all of us reeling — Chris Cuomo was terminated from CNN, after the community allegedly “simply discovered” Cuomo had been accused of sexual misconduct by a lady who had labored with him beforehand at ABC. Yeah, “simply discovered.” In addition they simply discovered the pee-pee tapes had been pretend, Jussie Smollett is a liar, and Don Lemon cannot learn.

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 And naturally, this tragic information is leaving an enormous gap in my present. When it got here to laughs, Cuomo supplied greater than a bus-full of nitrous-huffing clowns. The shock has left many people in denial.

Montage of “Gutfeld!” staffers upset that materials might be more durable to return by now that Chris Cuomo has been fired

It’s been a tough day. Let’s go to Carl Bernstein. Inform us, is that this worse than Watergate?

Carl Bernstein Watergate montage: Worse than Watergate// I hold getting requested are there echoes of Watergate on this and there are//we’re additionally witnessing one thing we didn’t see in Watergate// what we’re seeing is worse than Watergate

For as soon as Carl is correct. Clearly, folks deal with the information otherwise. Some individuals are weeping. Others are lashing out in anger. Some are attempting to eat away the ache. 

Clip of Brianna Keilar consuming a cicada

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ‘LAWYERING UP’ AHEAD OF BREWING $18 MILLION LEGAL BATTLE OVER FIRING: SOURCES

And there are others who, after extra Cuomo crap hit the fan, fortunately threw him below the bus, pretending they had been at all times important of his conduct.

Brian Stelter: There have been simply so many complications, time and time once more, involving Chris Cuomo. That although many viewers cherished watching Cuomo prime time and seemed ahead to his present. He was inflicting so many complications for the community and CNN staffers that in the end this resolution was reached

Yeah, he says that now. Gotta hand it to the pudgy pontificator: he places the corporate man in firm manatee. In case you forgot, this bloated broadcaster does a present no person watches known as “Dependable Sources.” 

However apparently, when it got here to the Chris Cuomo story, these sources weren’t dependable in any respect, ‘cuz he remained silent for months on the Cuomo scandals, preferring to spend his time enjoying clips of Fox Information and complaining about our large scores. And now he tries to rewrite historical past.

In the meantime, Cuomo is now claiming that Zucker, was conscious of every part. His spokesman telling the Wall Road Journal – owned by our guardian firm, the Olson twins – that Chris and CNN president Jeff Zucker “had been broadly recognized to be extraordinarily shut and in common contact, together with in regards to the particulars of Mr. Cuomo’s assist for his brother.”

And now CNN is snapping again telling the Journal that Cuomo “has made a lot of accusations which can be patently false. “This reinforces why he was terminated for violating our requirements and practices….”

‘THE FIVE:’ CUOMOS WERE A GOOD TRUMP ‘FOIL’ FOR CNN, BROTHERS ‘LIKELY TO FIGHT SO SAGA WILL CONTINUE

So it is about to get uglier than a sheep with a bikini wax. However whoever wins this battle – it may well’t look good for CNN. Yep, it is now not “essentially the most trusted title in information” at regional airports or at Delta terminals. Even the broadcasting balloon boy wonders: “has CNN misplaced belief on account of this?” 

Brian Stelter: Has CNN misplaced belief on account of this Zurawik? 

David Zurawik: Effectively, I do not know, that is laborious to say if CNN has misplaced belief. 

It’s laborious to say – I imply – how can CNN lose one thing they destroyed with their very own arms. The place is that this belief to lose? After the collusion hoax? The “advantageous folks” lie? The injecting bleach hoax. Covington? Kavanaugh? Smollett? However like newborns with a pacifier, CNN is so cute once they suck.

As you already know, we had been the primary to find the charms of Cuomo and supported him all the best way. In contrast to all these CNN clowns now angling for his job. As you already know, Chris Cuomo was their highest-rated host. True, that is like having essentially the most fingers at a leper colony. The pores and skin biopsy I acquired final yr drew a bigger viewers than Cuomo. Seems that pores and skin tag was a honey-nut cheerio.  However it nonetheless beat Cuomo within the 18 to 54-year-old demographic.

So what does this imply for the 9 pm slot? Who ought to CNN put there?

CNN’S BRIAN STELTER WHITEWASHES SCOPE OF CHRIS CUOMO SCNADAL ON MEDIA SHOW AVOIDS MENTIONING FIRST ACCUSER

What’s it take to make it on CNN? Apart from a ton of low vanity or well-known mother and father? Effectively, seems getting employed has nothing to do with expertise, brains, and even good hair. Nope, the much less engaged you might be with the American public, the extra probably you may get employed. 

You see, CNN shouldn’t be about scores, it is about attain. That means that the community exists solely to create indignant clips of faux information which they then disperse on the web, the place its affect is de facto peddled.

It is like a baseball farm workforce that develops expertise to ship as much as the foremost leagues the place they are going to be watched by an even bigger viewers. So, as a substitute of enchantment, CNN seeks the other. Check out their present anchors.

So, are you indignant, and petulant? (Jim Acosta)

Are you the product of a well-known guardian? (Anderson Cooper, Chris Cuomo)

Are you miserably conceited? (Brianna Keilar, Brian Stelter)

Are you simply plain silly? (Don Lemon)

Do you seem like you handed away ten years in the past? (Carl Bernstein)

CHRIS CUOMO ANNOUNCES HE’S LEAVING SIRIUSXM RADIO SHOW IN WAKE OF CNN FIRING

When you fulfill most of that standards, CNN is hiring. See, like a really lazy paperboy, CNN’s not involved in delivering information. Their actual revenue mannequin is to draw eyeballs via battle. Suppose the Jerry Springer Present, however in tiny bite-sized servings fired like a glitter gun into the inhabitants.

The more severe you’re feeling about America, the higher they do. That must be their slogan — or “an uneducated shopper is our greatest buyer.” 

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So will they discover one other Chris Cuomo? Perhaps we should always go away CNN with some lasting phrases of hoper to make them strive. As an example it yet one more time… Lets?

Montage of Chris Cuomo saying “let’s get after it”

This text is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the December 6, 2021 version of “Gutfeld!”



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