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what makes me sizzling proper now apart from my blue eyes and beautiful pecs?
NARRATOR: “This began with vaccine mandates, however for many right here, it is about much more. Effectively over a thousand folks lining the Trans-Canada Freeway exterior of Winnipeg in -30 wind chills protesting what they name authorities overreach. It began a few days in the past in Delta, B.C. Truckers protesting vaccine mandates on the border. Now, because the convoy logs extra kilometers, it is getting extra help.
Yeah, Canadian truckers protested vaccine mandates positioned on their trade with an enormous convoy which may break the world file set by Democrats vacationing in Florida.
In response to organizers, it is 70 “kilometers” lengthy, which is roughly 5 of Kat’s hair extensions tied collectively.
Really, it is 43.5 miles, and that’s fairly wonderful. It is the perfect factor to come back from Canada since moose — that is the place they arrive from — Canada.
Anyway, the liberty convoy, because it’s referred to as, left Sunday from Vancouver for Ottawa — locations that hockey followers inform me are cities, to protest the mandates for cross-border truckers that took impact on Jan. 15.
It is estimated that roughly 15 % of truckers within the nation aren’t absolutely vaccinated, which is about 16,000 truck drivers, or 80 % of the entire Canadian inhabitants.
True, it is so sparsely populated, the social distance necessities are 600 toes.
However I benefit from the convoy. Reality is, when you mess with the truckers, you aren’t getting your stuff from MyPillow, to hockey tools, beer, clothes, to 150 illegals from Guatemala. It simply takes too lengthy by canine sled.
And it is absurd — mandating vaccines for individuals who spend extra time alone than Kat on promenade evening.
In the meantime, who comes out towards the truckers? The Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, the low-life skunk.
My apologies to Pepe Le Pew. Right here he’s trashing the truckers.
CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER JUSTIN TRUDEAU: The small, fringe minority of people who find themselves on their method to Ottawa or who’re holding unacceptable views that they’re expressing don’t characterize the views of Canadians following the science. Stepping as much as shield one another is one of the simplest ways to proceed to make sure our freedoms.
He’s the PM — extra like a B.M. This pile of human dung simply mentioned the protesters are a small, fringe minority who’re holding unacceptable views.
So what are these unacceptable views, you jerk? Clarify it to us, since this fringe helped preserve your nation going once you could not.
Severely, he simply crapped on individuals who made positive Canadian residents like him received their rest room paper, their ginger ale, the cheese curds for his or her poutine, or no matter they eat in Canada as of late, through the pandemic.
Similar to having a dad who was prime minister, working from house is a privilege most haven’t got.
These folks work tirelessly till they’re purple within the face, versus their PM, who prefers to solely be in blackface when the one factor black about him is his coronary heart.
If he was in Alberta, they’d promote him as oil shale.
What an embarrassing, virtue-signaling impostor.
Sure, I wrote this whereas I used to be ingesting, and people raspberry exhausting seltzers had been delivered by truckers, so God bless them.
So hooray to the Canadian truckers, or, as Elon Musk mentioned, in simply three phrases — Canadian truckers rule. And so they do.
However you already know who else guidelines? The Danes. You would possibly even say they’re nice — not the canine. The folks of Denmark or the federal government of Denmark.
They’ve a authorities there, I hear, not like our nation at the moment.
Anyway, yesterday, Denmark additionally grew to become heroes by saying the tip of the pandemic. And on what everyday select, you ask?
Sure, I reply, Feb. 1 — the date this present picked as the tip to the pandemic.
Yeah, apparently they watch “Gutfeld!” in between cobbling and smoking mackerel.
How wonderful is that? In response to no matter I learn, Denmark is ending all its pandemic measures and virus restrictions on the final day of January.
That is Martha McCallum’s birthday, by the way in which. Yeah, I do know. I hope she likes the current I received her, though I forgot to poke holes within the field.
However their reasoning for ending the restrictions — the illness, like Andrew Cuomo, now not poses a risk to society.
So that they’ll be reclassifying the pandemic as an endemic. For extra, let’s go to our Denmark correspondent Hans Leifen Schnoz.
JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO: Greg, are you silly? Do I look Danish to you? Look, I am not a Danish correspondent. Get your head out of your a–. And I am working. Go away me alone.
So this easing of restrictions follows different nations just like the U.Ok. and Eire, as folks discover out that omicron is much less extreme than the sentences handed down for a gun crime.
The place Delta was Charles Manson, omicron is extra like Charles Nelson Reilly, so that they notice that no restriction goes to cease the contagious, however delicate, pressure.
Omicron is like Dana Perino’s canine footage. It is in every single place, however you’ll be able to deal with it.
We do not want the federal government or Neil Younger telling us what to do.
Proper now, Denmark, a nation of 6 million folks, has simply 44 COVID-19 sufferers within the ICU, and I am keen to wager they’re older than Stuart Varney and Brit Hume mixed.
So like listening to the couple within the subsequent condominium having intercourse, it sounds to me like they know what they’re doing.
So what about us? What are we doing?
Feb. 1 is subsequent week. When are we going to take the lead right here and produce this to an finish since our leaders will not?
Like Hollywood screenwriters, they suck at endings.
So let’s take inspiration from the Canadian truckers and the Danish cobblers and declare this factor over as soon as and for all.
After which get again to regular life the place we make enjoyable of Canadians and Danes as a substitute of complimenting them.
This text is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the January 28, 2022 version of “Gutfeld!”