“Marriage at First Sight” is a format in which two strangers meet during a wedding ceremony. They are paired with experts and have a month to get to know each other and get a taste of life together. After this time, they make a decision – either stay in the marriage or get a divorce. TVN has just finished broadcasting the tenth edition of the show, in which all three couples eventually decided to separate. What's more, out of a total of thirty couples taking part in the experiment, only four are still together (not counting Laura and Karol, who “matched” on their own after the program, and not by experts). So what's going wrong? – The process of getting to know each other and building tension related to the beginnings of a relationship can be exciting and have a positive impact on the relationship. There is practically no mention of this in the program – says sexologist Beata Kuryk-Baluk, known on Instagram as a pansexologist.
“Married at First Sight”. Can you fall in love without seeing the other person?
Many viewers, pointing out the program's flaws, point to the fact that the participants often do not like each other physically. Beata Kuryk-Baluk has no doubt that this aspect of sexuality cannot be ignored. Moreover, he notes that sometimes small details are important. – Appearance builds intimacy and passion to some extent. It's not that it has to be the figure of a fit model, but that some detail in the appearance sometimes intrigues and stimulates us. And that's cool, because as they say, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” We like some, some we don't – the expert tells us. The sexologist also emphasizes that although psychological tests, interviews, and even biological aspects may be helpful in choosing a partner, they will not be sufficient.
They will not replace long conversations, long-awaited dates and closeness
– he explains.
A sexologist points out a significant problem in “Marriage at First Sight”
Beata Kuryk-Baluk reminds us that when we enter into a relationship, we have our own fantasies and ideas about the relationship and the other person. At the beginning, we try to present ourselves as best as we can. The sexologist notices an important problem here, which appears when the other half is indicated by an expert. – When the message appears that someone has chosen someone special for us, then… it's easy to idealize the moment – he emphasizes.
And the fact that everyone can see our emotional dilemmas and that it will be on the Internet forever does not make it easier to be honest with ourselves.
– explains the expert. The sexologist also points to the problem of changes that appear in every person over time, as well as in the relationships they create. – In pairs the so-called relationship dynamics and everyone reacts to the other person, people reach out to each other, change, give up something or not, accept some imperfections, others not, etc. It is natural that at the first stage of building relationships we look for similarities – he points out.
But it is important to be able to be aware of the differences and see what thoughts, feelings or reactions arise in connection with them
– Beata Kuryk-Baluk tells us. Finally, the expert said that perhaps the experiment would have a greater chance of success if the participants could interfere a little more in the partners they chose. – Maybe if they had the freedom to chooseand specialists would be supportive, would it be easier to choose the one or the only one? – sums up.