More and more people turn to casual dating due to lack of time, unwillingness to commit, etc. Some prefer to keep it this way, with no strings and no romantic feelings involved, while others, after some time spent with their hookup partner, start wondering if it’s possible to build something meaningful out of what they currently have. After all, no one is immune to catching feelings in the process of hooking up with someone who matches them well. So, is it really possible to make your casual partner fall in love with you?
Who Prefers Casual Dating and Why?
Everyone has their reasons for choosing no-strings fun over real commitment, but to get your relationship off the ground and transform into something more serious, you need to understand what made your partner give up the idea of “happily ever after.” The most common reasons are:
- You met online
This is one of the most common reasons for people to be not ready for commitment. If you met each other on a casual dating platform intending to find a local hookup and nothing more, it’s no wonder why your partner doesn’t seem to want a serious relationship at the moment. People normally go to casual websites to seek fun without commitment because it’s easy and convenient, especially considering the fact that users on such platforms usually look for sex, not love.
- They have no time for a long-term relationship
Another common reason is workaholism. If you know that your casual partner is very involved in work, most likely, they lead a life in which time is a precious commodity. In such a case, they hardly have room for an intense and emotional relationship in which they must make various commitments. For workaholics, friendship with benefits becomes the best option.
- They just broke up with someone
If you’ve just gotten out of a long relationship, you probably don’t want to jump right into the next relationship. But there are still physical needs, and it just feels better when you are satisfied sexually. So, this, too, could be why they don’t want commitment. The best option would be to ask them directly, but without being pushy. If that’s the cause, you’ll probably have to back off for a while to let them heal enough.
Is It Worth Getting Serious and When?
It’s not that rare for a casual hookup to transform into a long-term relationship. Even when meeting on these dating platforms, you could meet the One without even planning it. So, when should you try to change the usual scenario of a casual relationship?
- You seek each other’s company
Obviously, if you start to catch feelings for them, you want to spend more time together, not just to have sex but talk and have fun like people normally do. But if at some point you notice that they are also looking for your company, such as texting you for no particular reason, or inviting you for coffee/dinner at some place, etc., it means they are interested in you. That’s a green flag.
- They get more tender after sex
Another good sign is loads of obvious fondness before/after you hook up. If your casual partner is not the kind to be gentle before sex and cuddle afterward, but at some point becomes all soft and cuddly every time you meet, they probably have feelings for you. Chances are, they are just too afraid of ruining everything by confessing, so you’ll have to make the first move.
- You feel comfortable around each other
It can’t be faked or misunderstood because if there’s chemistry between the two of you, nothing can ruin it. If you can talk, laugh, and spend time together for hours and hours, and your casual partner looks perfectly calm and in their place around you, it’s absolutely worth trying at least talk to them and discuss what is going on between you.
How to Change the Casual Dynamics?
Regardless of what situation you are in, that is, if they already have feelings for you or not yet, there are a few proven ways you can make them fall for you and, therefore, transform your casual relationship into something meaningful.
- Make them miss you
Sounds too easy, but, in fact, it works so well when you disappear from the scene from time to time. Because only then can the other person miss you and stumble over how important you are in their life.
- Show that you’re much more than a bedroom partner
For your casual hookups to become a solid relationship, it must no longer be about one thing. Cooking together before or after a hookup, having a movie night, and attending different events together brings you closer and shows them that you fit pretty well.
- Don’t idolize them
When in love, you want to do everything for the other person, especially if the feelings are not mutual. You work hard to become closer and win their attention. But unfortunately, this way, you get into the fan zone very quickly, where innocent feelings transform into blind adoration. Remember about self-worth and never grovel to them, no matter how much you want them to like you. It’s annoying, unattractive, and won’t bring any results.
It Is Not Always Possible or Reasonable
That being said, if you don’t see any results after trying for some time and they keep refusing you again and again, maybe it’s time to give up? Sometimes people are just unavailable for commitment, and that’s okay. Falling for someone who’s not made for you is a common thing. In such a situation, the best solution is to terminate your casual relationship, no matter how painful it is. Because if you continue to hook up with someone who has no feelings for you, over time, your relationship will result in only pain and negativity.